Portuguese Madeira Club, Marrickville

 Madeira Club, Marrickville 

Date: November 7th, 2021
Type: chicken
With: chips and lemon

Price: $10

$10 schnitzel with a $10 note. Yes, this is a kids meal, but could easily be more than enough for an adult. So nicely cooked with thin chips (some might say “too thin”) and lemon (that no kid really wants). For some reason they’ve decided that kids hate salad. I suppose most of them do (except my cucumber obsessed beastie). Accompanied with a can of Portuguese Passiona, you’ll have a five year old bouncing off the walls.

Carlisle Castle Hotel

Carlisle Castle Hotel, Newtown

Date: 9th September 2018
Price: hmmm can’t remember
Type: chicken
With: chips, salad and mushroom sauce  

Poor old Carlisle Castle. As far as drinking places go, its always been great, but the kitchen has historically so hit and miss that it feels quite risky to eat there.

This night we dared to revisit the schnitzel.

And yeah, it was good. No complaints. Good chips. Very mushroomy sauce and salad drenched in dressing. Would possibly consider eating there again.... after 11 beers. 

Note: someone tell the chef that salad is no place for an excessive amount of dried apricots.

Hurlstone Park RSL

Cantebury Hurlstone Park RSL

Date: 20th September 2018
Price: $19
Type: chicken
With: chips and salad  

Fwoar! Hurlstone Park RSL is a bit fancy these days isn’t it? Regardless of the fact that it’s still 80% poker machine, it has four eating venues and quite a nice view out over the suburbs to the airport.

We obtained this specimen from the club’s bistro.

Nothing really to report here. As classic as it can be. Schnitzel. Salad. Chips.
Good chips.
Maybe a bit pricey for what it is, but if you like sitting in a giant air conditioned room surrounded by old people, its totally worth it.
Try the bruchetta. Amazing.

 4.34 out of 5.00

Northern Star Hotel

Northern Star Hotel, Hamilton

  Date: September 30th, 2018
  Price: $26
  Type: According to the menu this is the “Byron Bay Berkshire Pork Loin with Crisp Slaw Schnitzel”
  With: chips, coleslaw, apple sauce

Without tasting it,  do you think it’d be worth $26? I mean, the words on the menu make it sound pretty fancy, but really its just a pork schnitzel with chips and coleslaw. It tasted fine, but not $26 fine. And apple sauce with a schnitzel? No thanks. That remained untouched.
Chips: good.
Stains on the cushions: substantial.
Nice to see the Northern Star hasnt changed since i used to go there, for the sole purpose of drinking too much, in 1822.
Also... is it an irish pub or not? Their website does say that “in 2000 the hotel was used by the Irish Olympic team for meals and soft drinks”. I hope they didn’t try the schnitzel... unless the irish government was picking up the tab.

Also.... They were trying to pass “irish viagra” off as thought its an actual thing.

Oktoberfest at the Concordia Club in Tempe

Concordia Club, Tempe
  Oktoberfest 2018

Date: October 7th, 2018
Price: more than you’d hope
Type: veal (i think)
With: mash and red cabbage.... and a pretzel for good luck

I love the german club with many portoins of my heart. The food is always tasty (and best eaten when you’re trying to fatten up for winter (i.e. not so much in october)). 

Oktoberfest is what i assume is the clubs best time of year for fundraising because they know idiots like us will pay stupid amounts (including an entry fee) for a beer stein and even more for stodgey food served on plastic plates... all whilst watching a two-piece band play modern songs in a bavarian style.

Regardless, schnitzel (amd everything else they make) at the Concordia club is always amazing. Cooked to perfection and no chance of the dreaded “chips under schnitzel” faux pas. Sure i just called it “stodgey”, but when you are drinking beer by the litre, thats exactly what you need.

  Shh. Yum

Town & Country Hotel, St Peters

Town and Country Hotel, St Peters

Date: December 20th, 2018

Price: $20ish (can’t actually remember)

Type: chicken

With: mash, veggies and mushroom sauce

This was the second time we’d been to the Town and Country for a schnitzel, but the first time no one had any cash and we couldn’t be seen documenting schnitzels without a scale bar. Luckily this meal is definitely worth going back for. Everything about it was cooked perfectly. Tasty mash and sauce (with nice chunks of mushroom), and veggies not crunchy or soggy.

100% recommend visiting this forgotten gem of a pub (despite the very creepy paining of slim dusty inside).

This old old pub has a pretty interesting history... if that’s your thing... and seemingly has recently fought for its life again the pointless westconnex fiasco of a toll road.

Have a read here: click here to see some cool old photos and whatnot

4.92 out of 5.00

Chelsea Hotel, Chatswood

Date: 28 July 2017

Price: $15

Type: chicken

With: mushroom sauce and mash

It had been years since we sampled the schnitzel wares of the second least offensive bar in Chatswood.

Unlike the decor, nothing much had changed. Very standard schnitzel again. Very nice for the price. Can't really fault it. It was like a beautiful lady on a pedestal of mash, showered in a warm brown mushroomy sauce and dusted with something green (probably parsley). Cheapest meal on the menu, so I'm not sure why you'd bother eating anything else.

3.9 out of 5

The Lady Hampshire, Camperdown

Date: 23 July 2017
Price: too much
Type: chicken
With: pepper-ish sauce, coleslaw and chips

This was a completely standard schnitzel meal. Thankfully they cut the schnitzel in half for me so I didn't have to waste valuable calories with my knife muscles. The pepper sauce was less than peppery, so it gets a 1.7 out of 10 on the sauce-o-rating scale. The most mysterious thing about this meal is why the chips came in a non-reuseable container rather than just being put into the plate.

3.1 out of 5

Summer Hill Hotel, Summer Hill

Date: 6th May 2017

Price: $23

Type: chicken... The "outback" schnitzel

With: egg, cheese, bacon and Beetroot(?)

For $23 you'd expect something pretty amazing, right?

Well, I got this. After getting past the "schnitzel on the chips" faux pas, we get to the toppings. What makes this "outback"? Is it all those pigs, chickens, cheese makers, and beetroot farms that are in the outback? Probably.

How did it taste? Well it wasn't offensive. Nothing about it was offensive, it was just a plain old schnitzel with out-of-place toppings and a half-arsed salad. Chips were fine.

2.6 out of 5.

Euro Bar, Hamilton

Date: 20th November 2016

Price: can't remember

Type: chicken

With: avocado, bacon, cheese, salad and chips

The schnitzel was small but cooked well. The chicken was a bit tasteless, but the cheese, bacon and avocado on top made up for it with flavour. The chips were nice and crispy and the salad had just the right amount of dressing.

3.5 out of 5.

Ashfield Hotel

Date: 11th September 2016

Price: $17

Type: chicken parmigiana

With: salad and chips

Upon first inspection the meal looked pretty good. Homemade schnitzel (of a reasonable size) with tomato, ham and cheese on top. However, I'm not sure how they extracted the flavour before serving it to me. Magical.

The crumbs were quite soggy and the chips were a bit rubbery. Maybe it was a bit late in the evening, the salad looked a bit sad.

Ashfield hotel.... Such a sterile place.

Overall 2.76 out of 5.

The Royal at Randwick

Date: 11 June 2016

It was a lunch special on the weekend, so I'm not sure if they made it horrible on purpose.

This was the veal parmigiana and it was tough and chewy. The chips were good.

The pub has dark but shiny interiors... and is also full of small children. Beware.

Keg & Brew, Surry Hills

Date: 12 October 2015

So, I think I was pretty much drunk before I even started eating this. The aim was to stave off that point of drinking that is "the pre-home hangover" also known as "alcohol poisoning". Anyway, it was oily and good. The coleslaw instead of salad also added to the lack of nutrition, which was welcomed.

Chips: too thin.

Wrest Point, Hobart, Tasmania

Date: 20 August 2015

Type: the "hunters" schnitzel at the Loft Bistro

Price: don't care, was there for a work conference

If there's a destination for an eating holiday, it's,Tasmania. Even the most ordinary food tastes amazing. This schnitzel was excellent and it wasn't just the giant glass of wine (not pictured) talking.

Worst Point. What a weird place though.

Napier Hotel, Fitzroy, Melbourne

Date: 16 August 2015

Can't remember anything else. 

Parmigiana that was well worth the wait. Busy cosy pub with a tops menu.

Chips could have been chubbier.

Beachway Motel, Ulverstone, Tasmania

Date: 11 June 2015

Price: can't remember

With: mushroom sauce, chips and salad

This excellent schnitzel definitely outweighed the loud swearing guys that decided to hang out outside my room and the fact I had to turn on the hot tap in the shower and the sink at the same time if I wanted hot water to come out.

Foghorn Brewery Newcastle

Foghorn Brewery Newcastle

Date: 21st August 2016

Type: chicken 

Price: $18 ($2 to swap potato chips with sweet potato chips)

With: coleslaw, Lemon and chips

It was cooked nicely and had an inoffensive flavour. The chips were very lovely and not too chubby. Coleslaw is coleslaw, right?

I would eat again, but probably order something green to eat it with. A little too much brown in my meal for my liking.

Cool brewery as well (you craft beer nerds would love it), but bring an extra scarf on a cold day.

Clean toilets as well. Thumbs up.

3.96 out of 5

Lord Raglan

Lord Raglan Hotel, Alexandria

Date: 28th February 2015
Type: chicken
Price: ummm.... i think it was $12
With: chips, salad and tomato sauce

Cheap and good. For the price, i really couldn't go past this menu selection. The schnitzel was one of the standard pub-type schnitzels but it was cooked crispiliciously. The chips were optimally chubby and the salad had half a cherry tomato in it. Amazing.
I didn't sample the sauce, not sure why... but by all accounts, it was excellent. To me, tomato sauce is something i put on food that tastes ordinary and needs it's actual flavour hidden.

Also... this pub needs to be mentioned based on some of the lovely beers it has on tap... most notably the range from Shenanigans Brewing. Well worth trying if mainstream beers aren't your thing. Good selection and i don't even really have a hangover!

Ikea? You bet.

Ikea Foodorium, Tempe

Date: 18th February 2015

Type: chicken (fingers crossed, at least) parmigiana

Price: $7.95

With: chips

Walking into Ikea, all i wanted was a $1 hotdog, but i found myself ordering the special of the evening.... the parmigiana. As you can see, i didn't have a $20, but i did have packet of Kwells. Thankfully, the Kwells weren't required during the evening.

The meal, well, it was pretty revolting. The schnitzel itself was very processed indeed. The topping really isn't worth mentioning either. I do love the ikea mustard though. :)

The chips were reasonable, but probably only because they were freshly made.

Note: the iced tea-isn drink was nice.

I also bought a new shower curtain.

Concordia Club

Concordia Club, Tempe

Date: 15th February 2015
Type: chicken
Price: Can't remember... if you squint, you might be able see the menu in the photo. 
With: chips and salad

Well, i'm sure we're got a specimen from the trusty Concordia Club somewhere else on this site, but we thought it as time for an update. 

As you can see, the Concordia makes a good looking schnitzel. Admittedly, it was not I that ate it (i could only manage to force down a large piece of cherry and cheese strudel and eleventy beers). So i can't really comment on the taste. But looking at the face of the eater, i can say that immense joy was had. 

Concordia club: it's an excellent place for tasty german food and beer.... and listening to such classic hits such as Xanadu, in german. Brilliant.