Chelsea Hotel, Chatswood

Date: 28 July 2017

Price: $15

Type: chicken

With: mushroom sauce and mash

It had been years since we sampled the schnitzel wares of the second least offensive bar in Chatswood.

Unlike the decor, nothing much had changed. Very standard schnitzel again. Very nice for the price. Can't really fault it. It was like a beautiful lady on a pedestal of mash, showered in a warm brown mushroomy sauce and dusted with something green (probably parsley). Cheapest meal on the menu, so I'm not sure why you'd bother eating anything else.

3.9 out of 5

The Lady Hampshire, Camperdown

Date: 23 July 2017
Price: too much
Type: chicken
With: pepper-ish sauce, coleslaw and chips

This was a completely standard schnitzel meal. Thankfully they cut the schnitzel in half for me so I didn't have to waste valuable calories with my knife muscles. The pepper sauce was less than peppery, so it gets a 1.7 out of 10 on the sauce-o-rating scale. The most mysterious thing about this meal is why the chips came in a non-reuseable container rather than just being put into the plate.

3.1 out of 5

Summer Hill Hotel, Summer Hill

Date: 6th May 2017

Price: $23

Type: chicken... The "outback" schnitzel

With: egg, cheese, bacon and Beetroot(?)

For $23 you'd expect something pretty amazing, right?

Well, I got this. After getting past the "schnitzel on the chips" faux pas, we get to the toppings. What makes this "outback"? Is it all those pigs, chickens, cheese makers, and beetroot farms that are in the outback? Probably.

How did it taste? Well it wasn't offensive. Nothing about it was offensive, it was just a plain old schnitzel with out-of-place toppings and a half-arsed salad. Chips were fine.

2.6 out of 5.